Better Than Nothing
by Gwendolyn James
Summary: I had become superfluous. Unnecessary. Unwanted. And instead of fighting for what I wanted, I retreated in the heat of the battle. One-shot.


Disclaimer: Ugh, I don't even want to claim this one.

A/N: This fic came out of a challenge given by my dear friend Rianna... who I'm planning to murder later. Promise you'll read to the end before passing judgement, okay? ;)

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The day he got married was a turning point in my life.

I know, you would think that it would be a turning point in _his_ life, and I'm sure it was, but it was almost more so for me.

I was able to pretend that it wasn't happening - up until he said those two fateful words: "I do."

He wasn't saying them to me.

I don't know why I expected it, though. It wasn't like we'd ever made a commitment to each other. We were friends, that's all. Nothing more.

At least, that's what I kept telling myself. That's why I waited so long.

Too long.

In my defense, it was a difficult decision to make. They were my best friends, I loved them both. How could I ever choose between them?

In the end, I didn't really choose. They chose for me.

It had always been the three of us, from the very beginning. We were the Golden Trio. We were a team. It had always been that way, and I was perfectly content to let it be. Why did it have to change?

I suppose it was selfish of me to want them both for myself. I should have known that it was impossible, that eventually they would leave me. I should have chosen sooner.

But by the time I realized it, the decision had been taken out of my hands.

I watched in envy and heartbreak as they both began seeing other girls. Girls who were pretty, funny, and charming. Girls who were all the things I never even dreamed of being. Girls who took away the two most important people in my life.

I didn't really have anything against those girls. They were very nice – I liked them – but they were trespassers. Intruders into my perfectly constructed circle. How dare they come and destroy everything I loved, everything I had worked so hard for?

I never found it easy to make friends, so I cherished the ones I _did_ have. Especially my boys. They were everything to me. They were the reason I woke up in the morning. They were the reason I kept going on the days when all I wanted to do was give up.

And suddenly, they were gone.

Oh sure, physically they were around. But emotionally, mentally, they were elsewhere. Not with me.

At that point, I would have been happy if only _one_ of them had chosen to stay with me.

But neither one did. I was left behind.

I had become superfluous. Unnecessary. Unwanted.

And instead of fighting for what I wanted, I retreated in the heat of the battle. I let my fear take over and I convinced myself that I was better off without them.

Well, _almost_ convinced myself.

No matter how much I tried, I couldn't deny it. I loved them both so much. They were my life, my breath. I needed them, and I _knew_ they needed me. So I summoned up the remains of my valor and determined to get them back into my life. They were a part of me, and living without them was like living with a section of my heart missing – completely impossible.

I tried everything short of sabotage. I refused to be vengeful, but I _would_ be purposeful. I exhausted every venue, every possible idea that came into my mind.

But it was over. I had lost.

The day Ron got married was the turning point. I realized that part of what I loved was gone – what was the point of trying to maintain my grip on the other part any longer? I had nothing. I was defeated. Defeated by love.

The irony did _not_ escape me.

So, after watching my best friend and his bride exchange their vows, I said a tearful goodbye to Harry and walked away.

He didn't let me.

_Hermione, wait._

Wasn't one goodbye enough? Now he wanted another?

_What is it, Harry?_

_I need to ask you something._

Why did he have to make this harder? Why couldn't he just let me walk away?

_Harry, I have to go..._

_It's important. Please, Hermione._

I would have given anything to avoid this prolonged agony. But I couldn't deny him anything.

_Alright, Harry._

He reached out and wiped a tear from my cheek.

_I've missed having you around._

I'd missed him too, but I couldn't admit it. It would only make things worse.

_I've been thinking about us, Hermione. Maybe it was because of Ron's wedding, I don't know. But I want to be with you... I want to marry you._

I was stunned. He wanted to _marry_ me?

_Harry, are you sure?_

_I've never been more sure. When it's right, you just know._

But _was_ it right? I didn't know what to think. Just moments ago I had said goodbye to both of my best friends, I had given it all up...

He was watching me with those eyes... those green eyes that pierced my soul and captured my heart.

I loved him, I really did. It wasn't the type of love that was accompanied with passion and fireworks, but it was love.

And it was better than nothing. I didn't want to live with nothing. I wanted to live with love. I wanted what he was offering.

_Will you marry me, Hermione?_

_Yes, Harry. Yes._

He took my hand and smiled – I could see the contentment in his eyes.

Yes, it was definitely better than nothing.

* * *

A/N: Gag. I absolutely DESPISE H/Hr... but stupid Rianna made me do it! The challenge was to write a fic that supports a ship that you detest, and there is no ship that makes me want to vomit more than H/Hr. So please review and let me know how I did... even if you absolutely hated it (because I did too). Excuse me while I go eat some chocolate to make myself feel better. 


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